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It’s Halloween – Splatter your house

It’s that time of year – Halloween. Of course, the day has taken on a new meaning nowadays.

Some more cynical than we might say that it’s become a corporate whore – purposefully taken from its original meaning.

Fortunately, some of us still want to keep that original purpose alive – and that’s to play some spooky retro games. So here it is:

1001 No.86: ‘Splatterhouse’ (1988)

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RIP Tom Clancy

Earlier this month, we saw the sad news of the passing of Tom Clancy, a man influential in many ways – a huge literary career in books, but also movies, and of course games.

The inspiration behind the Rainbow Six, Splinter Cell, and Ghost Recon series to name a few, we couldn’t let this go without doing some kind of tribute. So here’s our Big Talk on the Tom Clancy games that meant something to us.

(Includes 1001 no’s 83: Splinter Cell, 84: Chaos Theory, 85: Double Agent.)

Shake it, Baby

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This game was a classic back when I was a child. Everyone knew about Duke Nukem 3D. So I’ve decided to revisit the Megaton Edition; however How Long to Beat reckons it will take at least 12.5 hours to do.

Longer than I remembered it was and longer than I have time to do in a single session these days. So here is a journey back in time to Duke 3D in several episodes, enjoy.

Day 1.

Cup of tea in hand I boot up Duke 3D only to be greeted by a familiar start screen of Duke standing over a pile of dead aliens (which, lets be honest is just a rip of the Doom cover). Ahh, this is going to be good.”Damn, those alien bastards are going to pay for shooting up my garage”.

Stage 1: LA Meltdown

Starting on a rooftop we descend onto the street outside a movie theatre. Floods of memories return to me as we are immediately assaulted by flying lizard men.

After finding an arcade machine of Duke Nukem II (which I previously played when I owned a 486) and Duke makes the snide comment “Haven’t got time to play with myself” I turn to a corner of the room and try to access a locked door; only to be informed “Red access card required” – classic.

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And whilst attempting to get screenshots I get shot in the face by a Pig. Reminding me of how old games don’t have checkpoints. Back to the start we go!

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Onto level 2 and straight back into the thick of it. Finding it much easier to aim than I remember back when I was a child.

Quotes from Duke include: “Groovy”, “Who want’s some”, “Damn, I’m lookin’ good”, “Ahh, much better” and “Hail to the King, baby” as we blast our way through the next few levels.

Playing pool with a pistol, don’t know of another game that let’s you do that…

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And of course, the almost infamous. Titty bar – “Shake it, baby”

Dying in this game is a lot harsher than I remember too. Normally as you progress through levels you retain weapons, ammo and items – such as scuba gear – however when you die; you lose all of it. Leaving you just a pistol and on the level I restarted on, underwater without any scuba gear. This game is actually kinda challenging, unlike those modern day FPS’

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End of day 1: 420 alien kills (according to the Steam achievement)

Argh. And to top it all off, quit the game without saving… So the next instalment may be a bit longer as I have to redo the levels again. Fail.

Don’t miss any more buoys

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That’s right it’s WAVE RACE 64, the groundbreaking game that spawned, uhh, exactly zero other Jet Ski-based games.

1001 No.82: ‘Wave Race 64’ (1996)

But hey, it’s pretty damn funny when there’s 2 of you who have no idea how to operate a Jet Ski trying to shove it around a course, attempting to pass as close as possible to a series of floaty red and yellow buoys.

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Once the UCHG started replacing the word buoys for boys, hilarity reached new heights – especially when the announcer demands you not miss any more.

Check out how extreme this game can be!