Ho Ho Ho, now I have a machine gun

Fat Abbot

Every year we like to remember the man who nearly died for our sins on several occasions.

The bald man with the vest, who every year brings us tidings of joy and the dispatching of bad people. I’m talking of course about John McClane, who visits our homes every Christmas due to the perpetual screenings of Die Hard.

So in this spirit of Christmas, I’d like to just relive some of the efforts of the games I remember that have tried to capture the essence of McClane’s adventures…

Die Hard Arcade, 1996

die hard acr (1)

Ahh Die Hard Arcade. It holds a special place in my heart as it was the original arcade machine game that the UCHG painstakingly restored back to life. Bit of an odd one though this one, it’s not really Die Hard at all – in actual fact it is Dynamite Deka, a Japanese beat em up hastily given the Die Hard license to help it sell.

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Pretty damn good fun though – it’s like Streets of Rage but in 3D. 2-player coop action, tons of weapons, hilarious fights, all in all it’s a blast. If you make it to the end with both players still alive, you have to fight eachother, Double Dragon style.

There was a sequel too: Dynamite Cop (or Dynamite Deka 2), was released for arcades and Dreamcast in 1998 without the Die Hard license.

Die Hard Trilogy, 1996

What is it with 1996 and Die Hard games? A year after the 3rd movie, it was probably fresh in people’s minds. I remember this one most because it was on an early PS1 demo disc.

die hard tri (1)

Die Hard Trilogy is what it suggests, 3 games based on the 3 movies in the series: a 3rd person shooter in Nakatomi Plaza; an ‘on-rails shooter’ (a bit like Time Crisis) in an airport for Die Hard 2: Die Harder; and a driving game for Die Hard: With a Vengeance to blow up bombs with your taxi.

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They’ll all pretty damn basic games, there’s not even a suggestion of a story, and they’ve all seriously dated, but they’re still lots of fun.

Die Hard: Nakatomi Plaza, 2002

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Why release a Die Hard game 14 years after the movie? Who knows. But this is actually the closest to the film out of all of these here – they even got one of the original actors back for it (hint – it wasn’t Bruce Willis or Alan Rickman). The story and memorable lines are there as you remember, with a few bits of extra padding of course – even the classic ending shot of Rickman falling of the roof.

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Terrible AI, awful weapons, boring corridors – but weirdly I enjoy it. Something about it still says Die Hard to me – whether it’s the presence of the Zippo lighter, throwing bad guys off roofs. You even hold the gun lefthanded like Brucie. This actually feels like you’re in Nakatomi Plaza, and for me that’s a win.

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

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So that’s my Die Hard roundup. There have been a few more besides, but these are the ones that I recall most fondly. If you have your own favourites for Christmas, let us know in the comments.

Fat Abbot

Mario Kart 64

This was always going to happen of course, the Mario Kart 64 showdown.

We’ve visited Mario Kart before, back on the Snes – and Ross’s anger certainly did make a reappearance this time. But Mario Kart 64 is the king, the undisputed champion of battle modes. So here it is! Witness the UCHG have a head-to-head-to-head, and see who ends up victorious.

1001 No.89: ‘Mario Kart 64’ (1997, N64)

Desert Bus

Fat Abbot

The steam autumn sale has arrived, and of course this is a huge strain on any respectable gamer’s wallet.

But one constant temptation even greater than steam is the humble bundle.

For those not in the know, the humble bundle is a regular sale of mostly (but not always) independent games, with a great philosophy: they’re always DRM free, they’re ‘pay what you want‘, and every time you buy something money goes to charity. It’s a win-win-win.

The current sale is for a bunch of android games, including one off the 1001 list I’d been meaning to try:

1001 No.88: ‘Spider: The Secret of Bryce Manor’ (2009, iOS)


Though frankly it’s not worth your time. You’re a spider that has to go around trapping insects by making webs. There’s no danger; little wit required; I just don’t get it.

I put it down to the fact that *MAC BASHING ALERT* it originally came out on iOS, so iPhone users who played it probably thought using a touchscreen was amazing – they don’t really know what games are after all.


Spider is so lame I’d rather play one of the other games in the bundle: DESERT BUS.


Oh shit desert bus is so extreme – drive a bus in realtime across the desert for 8 actual real life hours.

It was originally created for Penn and Teller as a joke, but a joke that ended up raising tons of money through re-releases and charitable challenges. Over its lifetime Desert Bus has raised nearly $2m for charity.

Fuck yeah desert bus!


It was Inevitable

It all started with the words Ming and Whim – Then it all went wrong.

It was the realisation that the E could be added to the end of Ming that opened the floodgates. Soon turns where being skipped, letters exchanged and opponents united in the quest for the “best” words.

Who would have thought that the free EA Scrabble game could be so much fun…


Stick To What You Know

The other day I thought I would try out Nvidia’s new ShadowPlay feature.

This neat little bit of software allows you to either record all of your game play or choose to capture it in bite-sized chucks of between 1 to 5 minuets.

The end result is above and proved two things;

1) ShadowPlay is pretty cool.

2) I should stick to the old games…

Could be time for Fraps to step aside..

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